Let's Look - Managing Teenage Life

Linking up with Shay and Erika for Let's Look.

This month we are talking about managing teenager life. I struggled to write this post trying to strike a balance between being complementary of our young man and not be critical, while also being realistic.  I think what I've determined is that kids are so different that there really isn't a best way to "manage teenager life", it's a bit of figure it out as you go, knowing that each month/year and each kid will be different. It sometimes helps to think back to what I was like as a teenager but it is such a different time! And although E and I share certain qualities, we are not the same, so my expectations need to be adjusted. And just in case we do get it all figured out, our next kid Q is going to be different too!

That said, some things that came to mind on this topic are as follows:

Trying to listen. They say if you listen to the little stuff they will come to you with the big stuff.  Now, I really do have a hard time listening to E about the games he is playing but I try. And certainly when his tone changes and he does tell me about stuff at school or asks questions, I am all in.

Monitor phone use.  E does not have social media yet and doesn’t watch YouTube on a loop, so that’s good, but he does play games on his phone a lot.  Creating opportunities for him to put his phone down and teaching him some good habits is something we are working on, but we are at least conscious of it.  I also occasionally check through his text messages to make sure everything is above board. 

Creating independence while also providing guidance.  This is a work in progress. I want him to figure stuff out on his own but sometimes forget that he could still use some nudging in the right direction.  By this I mean he won’t necessarily be proactive on something like getting together with his friends or practicing golf, but if I suggest it or bring him along to the golf course, he’s usually all in.  Same with school work, it helps if we ask about his school work on a regular basis and encourage him to work on stuff that’s coming due. He can do the work but doesn’t take the initiative to get it done early. 

Remembering that we are doing a good job, even if it doesn't always feel that way.  Voices will be raised, feelings will be hurt, but ultimately we love our kids and they know that. 

I will be interested in reading through the other posts in this link-up so I can see if anything applies to us.