This is it!!

I can't believe this day has finally arrived!! Sometimes it felt such a long way off and I wasn't sure I would make it, both physically and mentally, but here we are. 

We are welcoming our new baby this morning.  I am scheduled for a c-section at 7:45 am.  

I'll be taking a break from blogging for at least a week, so keep up with our new arrival and other happenings on instagram; follow me at @SMacTO

Packing for the hospital

I have seen multiple lists about what to pack for the hospital, and they are all different, so here is mine to add to the mix!

Because I am having a scheduled c-section, I know exactly when I am going in, how long I will be there, and what the process will be.  This helps to streamline what will go into my hospital bag.

This is my bag, a lululemon gym bag.  I've had this for a few years and it is a good size for a weekend with lots of extra pockets.

Things that will be going into this bag:

Minimal toiletries - contact lenses and solution, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, brush, lip gloss, cream, hair elastics.  I don't need makeup, extra hair products, or much else besides the basics.  I did shower once at the hospital because I was there for two nights.

Comfy clothes - I will wear yoga pants and sweater to the hospital in the morning, and I will probably wear the same thing home.  I just wore the hospital gown and housecoat while I was there, and I didn't need my own pyjamas, although some people may feel more comfortable in those.  And of course I'll need a scarf!  You don't need to bring underwear because they hospital gives you the stretchy ones that you'll want to wear home (and try to grab a few extra pairs to bring with you!).

Nursing supplies - bra, pads, lanolin.  That's really it.  The hospital has pillows for you to use, you don't need the cover (trust me, all modesty goes out the window when you have nurses helping you breastfeed), and your milk doesn't really come in until after you leave, so the pump isn't necessary, but the hospital has pumps if you really need one.

Baby stuff - going home outfit, extra blanket, car seat, hat.  You don't need a lot of clothes because the baby is wrapped in a blanket most of the time (which the hospital has plenty of).  They also have lots of diapers, wipes and cream.  Some lists say to bring a soother but when you're breastfeeding, it is recommended you don't use a soother for about a month, so you certainly don't need a soother in your hospital bag.

Other - Camera, phone charger, health card, ID.  Leave rings and other jewelry at home.  You won't need any reading material or other things to keep you busy.   I happen to like hospital food so I probably won't bring a lot of snacks with me, but my hospital has a Second Cup so I will be able to get a good cup of coffee at some point.

Breastfeeding Must Haves

My Thursday posts are usually focused around food, so today is really no different, but this time it is what our baby will be eating for the first six months of his life. 

I've only nursed one child so I'm not an expert, but these are some helpful things to get you started:

Patience!! That is number one.  I'm sure they exist, but I know few people who just started nursing their child and it went off without a hitch.  This is a learned skill that both you and your baby have to acquire, and even if you've had multiple children, you still need to work with the new baby and of course they are all different.

A support person. Commonly your spouse, but could also be your parent, friend, or lactation consultant.  Feeding a baby, especially at night, can be a very lonely experience; it can be painful, messy, inconvenient and just plain hard.  Having someone around who can help you, even if it's just being near you, is immensely helpful for success.

A breast pump. The one I liked was this one.  I still need to figure out if the one I still have works, or if it needs repair or replacement.  It is useful for getting the milk flowing, "fixing" inverted nipples, and allowing you to stock up for when you need to be away from the baby at mealtimes.  Some people like the double pump, but I liked my single.  I would recommend the electric one rather than the hand pump so you don't have to do as much work.

A pillow with a removable cover.  The pillows themselves have nice patterns , but they will inevitably get wet and it's easier to remove a cover and throw it in the wash rather than washing the whole pillow.  You may want to get a few different covers for this purpose. 

A privacy cover, if you want.  I have no issue with someone feeding their child out in the open, and I think (I hope) society is gradually moving that way, but if a cover makes you feel more comfortable, then get one.  They have really nice patterns and different styles.

Nursing pads.  I tried many different kinds, but my favourite is this brand.  I had no patience for the reusable cloth ones, although some people don't have an issue.  I wore these constantly and they were certainly required for the first few months.

Lanolin Cream.  I buy the Medela brand, but there are others available.  I've also heard coconut oil works.  Smear this on after every feeding and shower and you'll feel much better.

Nursing bras without underwire.  I have both kinds, but you definitely need the ones without underwire because you'll need to wear a bra to bed for a long time (with the pads) and an underwire simply won't do.  Get several of the style that you like, and then you can just keep switching them (and rinsing them out between uses, I told you, this is a messy business).

A notebook and clock.  Especially at the beginning, you'll need to know how long you're baby has fed, which side you started on, and when you last fed him/her.  You will be tired and not remember these details on their own.  You'll need to write them down and time your feedings.  You should also write down when you changed diapers and what was in there.  If you have trouble breastfeeding and need to go back to the hospital (like we did with E), the doctor/nurse/lactation consultant will want to know these details.  I'm sure there is an app for this now, but I will stick with the old fashioned pen and paper.

(Back at the hospital with jaundice, so another tip is "although you may feel terrible at the time, it will all be okay, and you're not alone!")

Good luck!

Friday Favourites

Linking up with Andrea, Erika and Narci for Friday Favourites. 

I am not one of those people who loves being pregnant, but since I definitely appreciate that this is a privilege, I am focusing on some positives today.  These are the five favourite things about being pregnant:

Having my little buddy with me.

I am never alone, I always have someone with me, even in the shower.  I don't talk as much to this baby as I did with E, but it is nice to know he's there.  I remember feeling lonely the first time I had a shower after E was born because I was all by myself in there.

Feeling all of the movement.

This child is super active already and I felt movement early on and consistently.  It can be a little uncomfortable at times, but really it is pretty cool to have that feeling. 

Fizzy lemonade.

I really miss my wine, beer, martinis, etc. but it is a good break.  It gives me a chance to enjoy some fizzy lemonade which is a pretty great drink for the summertime and something I would probably not be ordering/buying if I was drinking alcohol.

Taking it easy.

As you can tell from reading my weekend recap posts, we like to keep busy and stay active.  A few times this summer we have not made plans, or E and Dave have gone off somewhere together while I have stayed home.  It is nice to take a break sometimes and enjoy some quiet time. 

Having the excuse "I'm growing a human!". 

Maybe I want to go to bed early, or skip an event at work, or complain a little more than usual about something.  If anyone gives me a hard time (and they don't really at all), "Hey! I'm growing a human!" is the best thing to say.  There is no comeback for that.  It is a true little miracle that is pretty amazing.

Preparing for baby

I thought I would share some our strategies (I use that term loosely) that we used with E, and that we plan to use with the new baby.  They seemed to work for us, and I'm hoping that they will be successful again.  I am also trying to refresh my memory so I don't need to reinvent the wheel here!


Diapers - we used cloth diapers exclusively for the first few months of E's life (except when travelling), and then we started using a disposable at night time.  When he was about 18 to 20 months old, we switched to disposables full time because he was so mobile that the cloth ones didn't seem to fit him as well.  

Cloth diaper bum

We will be using cloth diapers again.  I like them because I prefer to have the cloth against his skin than a disposable diaper.  I know we can't avoid all chemicals and other things like that in our lives, but I do try to make the decision to avoid them when I can.  I also just like the idea of having them delivered to our house and never having to worry about buying diapers on sale or running out.

Breastfeeding - I am a big supporter of breast feeding and Dave and I both knew we wanted to succeed at this when we had E.  It was hard but we kept going and eventually E and I were pros at meal times.  I don't know what this baby will be like, but at least one of us knows what they are doing this time, so I hope it will be easier!

E was exclusively breastfed until he was about 9 months old and then we moved to formula until he was 11 months when we switched to whole milk.   

Sleeping - I vaguely remember the "schedule" that we had for E when he was a baby.  The first two months were sort of a blur, then it was Christmas time and we were away for a few weeks.  In February (when he was about 3.5 months) I started going to the gym twice a week to work out with a trainer.  We would get up in the morning, eat, play a bit, and then E would go down for a nap around 9:00.  I would get him up at 11:00, feed him quickly, and then head to the gym.  After the gym, he would eat again, and then we would drive home.  It would be absolutely necessary that he not fall asleep on the drive home otherwise he would not have his afternoon nap.  I would sometimes roll the windows down (dependent on the weather), play the music loud, and reach back to wobble his seat.  If he fell asleep for even a minute, he would then refuse to nap in his crib when we got home. But when he waited until he got to his crib, then he would nap for about 2 hours.  He would sometimes have a nap around 4:30 for about half an hour, it was like he could just not last to the end of the day without another nap.  On the days when I wasn't at the gym, we would follow this rough schedule, and when we had plans out of the house, he would just nap in his car seat.  As long as he couldn't see anyone while he tried to fall asleep, he didn't have an issue sleeping outside of his crib. 

Napping while out for a walk

Our bedtime routine involved a bath every other night, feeding, and then stories.  We read to E since he was really little.  I never had to nurse him to sleep which was great, and after he was about 6 weeks old, we didn't hold him to go to sleep either.   We would swaddle him up in a blanket (sleep sacks would give me the heebie-jeebies, and I didn't want to subject my child to the same thing, I wanted him to be able to escape the swaddle if he really wanted to), and put him down with his soother in the crib, and then leave.  We would also put some music on in the background.  Then we would take turns going back upstairs when he would cry, and re-swaddle and/or find the soother.  Sometimes it would take an hour for him to get to sleep and several trips back upstairs, but it is what worked for us, and the time and trips upstairs became less and less.  I don't know if we will bother with the music this time, but we might.  I don't know if it made a difference or not. 

E's first bath

Soothers - We liked the soother, it came in handy a lot.  It was suggested that we didn't introduce a soother until he was about 1 month old so that he could get used to breastfeeding and we didn't want to confuse him.  He took to the soother when we gave it to him and used it until he was in daycare.  I can't remember the exact time that we took it away but I do remember that it was before he was 18 months old because he was still in the infant room at the daycare.  For awhile he was just using it when napping and sleeping at night.  It was rare that he had it outside of his crib.  One day the staff at the daycare said they were going to stop giving the kids soothers at nap time, so we said, that's fine, and we just stopped giving it to him at night too.  I don't remember it being a big deal which was great.

I think the pooping, eating, sleeping and crying covers the first 6 months!   We'll see how it all plays out with this new little guy!

Nursery

When we decorated E's room at our old house, we did a fancy paint job with horizontal stripes of all different widths and colours.  The colours came from the rug and quilt from Pottery Barn Kids.  As is typical, we will not be putting the same level of effort in for our second child's room.  We will be using the rug and bedding, but other than repairing the plaster, and adding a fresh coat of paint, there will be no elaborate design on the walls.

I don't think they sell the same quilt that we bought five years ago, but here it is:

And here is our rug (they don't sell this anymore either):

The chair we bought matches the rug and checked off a few of our requirements; I wanted a rocker, not a glider, I wanted something that was stylish but functional (the microfiber vacuums and wipes off very well), and something that didn't take up a lot of space.  This Joya Rocker from Monte  Design did the trick (we picked it up at Ella + Elliot).  Plus the ottoman held all of our receiving blankets.

We have lots of nice blankets and crib sheets that we can still use, but I will probably buy a few more things.  I'd also like to get a couple of table lamps and a clock.  I'll check at Homesense but these will be my inspiration:

A few things that worked for us last time and that I will duplicate are:

- Keep a double bed in the baby's room.  We will still need the extra space for guests (and the baby can sleep in our room when that happens), but it is also great for those nights when the baby isn't sleeping, then you don't need to keep walking back and forth from your own room, and the other parent can keep sleeping.

- Put the change pad on top of the dresser.  We didn't bother with a separate change table since we didn't have a lot of space.  I would just keep diapers in the bottom drawer of the dresser, and there was plenty of room for the creams and wipes on top.

- Buy lots of dresser drawer dividers.  We still use these with E's clothes now although they are getting more full, but they are great with baby clothes.  And on the opposite note, don't bother with baby hangers.  Maybe it was because we had a boy, but I got a few packages as shower gifts and ended up getting rid of most of them.  We used a few but mostly I folded the clothes.

- Get a laundry hamper that you can carry with one hand (at least when it isn't too full).

Advice for new parents

The thing with advice is that everyone loves to give it, but few people actually want it.  I remember when I was pregnant with E, our neighbours at the time seemed almost gleeful at telling us how our life was pretty much over now and that things would only now revolve around our child.  They laughed that we would be getting a minivan soon enough and that our weekends would be spent at the rink before too long watching our son play hockey.  We tried to say that we didn't want a van or for our child to play hockey, and they just laughed, like "we'll see".

Being on the other side of that, I know a bit about what they meant, but not about everything.  Yes, having a child means you don't get to do everything you want to do, but it does not mean that your life is over.  Everyone finds the things that they like to do, and there is no right way to do it.  For us, we took E out to all kinds of restaurants from a young age (see my tips for that here), we took him to sporting events, we travelled to Barcelona as our family vacation, and we registered him in skiing as our strategy for discouraging hockey.  We do a lot of things where E is our focus, but we also want to introduce him to many different experiences that aren't necessarily "kid friendly".  We are lucky that he is a pretty good kid and it is impossible to know if this is just his personality or if he is so good because of how we have raised him.  The classic nature vs. nurture argument. We will see how the next kid turns out!

So when I talk to new parents, I do try to bite my tongue about the changes that will happen in their life.  They should be encouraged to find their own way and make the choices the work for him.  I am happy to share my advice, but not as "you should do it this way" but as "this is what we did and it worked for us".  It's not always easy to be non-judgmental but it how I try to react.

That all being said, this is my advice for people who are about to have their first child:

- Go to the movies.  Dave and I don't get to see many movies in the theatre now because when we do get a babysitter or have a parent visiting, we tend to go out to eat instead.  At least now, we have started seeing some movies with E, but those are obviously limited choices.

- Eat at a restaurant where you would never take a child.  As I said before, we have taken E to many restaurants, starting when he was a few weeks old and basically just stayed in his carseat, to when he was a toddler and we grabbed forks, glasses, and salt and pepper shakers from his little hands before the ended up on the floor.  I have breastfed him at the table, we have brought food with us to feed him, and we've ordered him things off of the adult menu.  But there are a couple of places where I would never take a kid, even at 5:00, and we still haven't been to those places yet.  So go now.

- Sleep in.  I actually like getting up early and making the most of my day, but I do like to be lazy sometimes and would love to spend the entire morning reading in bed.  Although I will sleep in on occasion, I don't spend all day in bed because I like spending time with my family so I get up and go downstairs.

Your priorities will change with the new baby, but you won't really mind.  The only thing to remember is that you don't need to give up your own life and your own interests just because you have a child.  If you want to travel, either alone or with the kids, then travel.  If you like eat at restaurants, then go out.

Weekend Recap

Spring is here!  We had a beautiful weekend here in Toronto.  Dave's parents were visiting.  

On Saturday morning, Dave and his dad continued their work in the basement, tiling the bathroom and laundry room.  Dave's mom and E and I walked down to the library and to pick up a few things.  A few of our friends were coming over to watch the first Raptors' playoff game so I quickly ran around and cleaned up the house.  

Ready for the game!

Two little Raptor fans

After the game (the terrible game), we went out to Oakville for a nice dinner with our friends and all the kids.  As usual, I forgot to take pictures.  E had a cold but he was still ready to party with the girls.

On Sunday, I slept in, which was really nice.  Then we went out to Costco. We are not members but will sometimes go with Dave's mom when she is in town.  One thing I got was a package of sidewalk chalk, paint and bubbles.   E enjoyed that when we go home out in the sunshine.

I made some lemonade for a little treat.  

Late Sunday afternoon I went to our local yoga studio to try out a prenatal yoga class.  It is mostly a hot yoga studio, but they wanted to see who would be interested in a prenatal reduced heat class.  I think it would be a good class, and it was nice to be able to walk to the studio. 

In the evening, we watched SNL hosted by Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  It was pretty good!  She is one of my favourite people on TV.

Healthy Snacks

I have felt pretty good during the first three months of pregnancy, but I do tend to feel a little ill if I wait too long before meals, so I stocked my desk drawers at work with snacks.  Said snacks were obtained at the drug store, so they didn't have a lot of amazing choices.  I did the best I could - root vegetable chips, Nature Valley oat bars, whole wheat Goldfish, and 100 calorie packs of Oreo crisps (which by the way do not taste like Oreo cookies in the least).  Although they do the job, I want better snacks.  So one of my goals this month is to make a healthy snack to take to work.  Even though these still have sugar and salt, I still feel much better making them from scratch than buying their equivalent at the grocery store.

I found some ideas of Pinterest (of course), so I will try to pick up some of these ingredients this weekend and start snacking!

Roasted Chickpeas

Granola Bars

Peanut Butter Bites

Apple Chips

Cinnamon Roasted Almonds

Any others I should try?

It takes a long time sometimes

When I say the title of this post, I hear Scout's voice from the movie To Kill a Mockingbird.  If you are familiar with this movie, this is the scene where she, Jem and Dill broke up the mob in front of the jail and she spies Mr. Cunningham.  She starts talking to him about his entailment, and trails off with "It takes a long time sometimes...".

Last week I announced that we are expecting our second child in October. This means that our children will be 5 years apart to the month.  It took me really no time to get pregnant with E.  It felt like forever at the time, but it was really just about 4 months.  For this baby, it has taken a lot longer.  I had always had my life plan in mind to go like this: get married by the time I'm 27 (which happened, I got married a few weeks before my 27th birthday), and have my first child by the time I was 30 (and I turned 30 the year E was born).  I forgot to "plan" for the second child, assuming that it would just come along without the need to have a goal.

But month after month, and year after year, it did not happen. It felt like everyone was getting pregnant and people were moving onto their second and third children.  We knew we wanted more but were always hit by different obstacles.  No one likes too much detail so I won't give much (but if you want more, feel free to reach out and ask), but basically I had to have a couple of surgeries that prolonged the time between first and second child. Throughout all of this, always in the back of my mind, I would hear Scout's voice and it gave me some encouragement.  Life does not just happen the way you want it to, it takes a long time sometimes. 

My plan, as much as I pretended was right on track and then got derailed, was irrelevant.  Really, I could only rely on God's plan and for Him to see me through whatever was in store.  These verses really did bring me comfort and helped me from feeling overwhelmed and sorry for myself:

Psalm 55:22 - Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 40:30-31 - Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.

If you are also waiting on something to happen, hopefully these will sustain you too.

Friday Favourites

Linking up with Andrea, Erika and Narci for Friday Favourites.

To begin, I wanted to share my most favourite news of all (and this is not an April Fool's joke!).  We are expecting our second child in October!!!  E is looking forward to being a big brother and has enjoyed telling people the news, very nonchalantly.  I am feeling pretty good, and have not had any morning sickness. 

I am also loving going back to yoga.  The studio where I go sells the cutest tank tops, I may break down and buy one next time I'm there. 

Another favourite is that spring seems to be here (although we may get some snow next week, eek).  We wake up every morning to the birds chirping, the evenings are bright, and flowers are poking through. 

If you are a Girls fan and you watched last week's episode then it was probably a favourite of yours too.  Marnie is an exasperating character, and is becoming more of a cliche which each episode.  This one was all about her but it was so good.  Watch it if you haven't already.

Happy Friday!