I wasn't sure what to call this post, what I wanted to share were some random thoughts that came up while I was recuperating last week.
- I did not feel guilty for taking a break from work and home life. First of all I was not feeling well, I was on medication that made my head fuzzy, and I could literally could not do anything (besides nap, listen to some podcasts, and watch Netflix, all from the comfort of my bed), but I didn't feel bad about it. I usually do feel guilty, as most working moms do, but this time I did not. I knew things could get done without me.
- I had an actual "out of office" message on my work email, different even from when I'm on holiday. I didn't say I would respond to urgent messages as soon as possible or that I would be checking my email periodically, this time it said I was out of the office and unable to check email and then told them who they could contact. That helped to eliminate the guilt because I could legitimately ignore emails, and most of my co-workers knew where I was anyway, so they were only cc'ing me on stuff, not making actual requests.
- I love my bed. I know that I've probably said it before, but it is so comfy and it was a nice place to spend days at a time.
- When I was feeling better, it was hard to balance between not pushing too hard and regressing on my progress, but also getting on with it and getting back to normal. I think I did a good job of doing a few things at a time, but then resting on the couch or in my bed (see above point). Sure, some of the guilt starts back in, but ultimately I didn't feel too bad for taking it easy.
- It was nice to "reset". It's hard to ever get an actual break and, although there is no one to do my job for me while I'm gone so my to do list didn't really get shorter, I was able to re-order the priority list, so that was good.
- I'm very grateful for my health. This was just a small procedure with a clear end point in recovery. For the most part I am very healthy and I don't often get sick. I am aware that many people deal with chronic illness or serious medical setbacks and I do not take my otherwise normal healthy state for granted.
- I also really appreciate the doctors, nurses, and admin staff that I dealt with through this process. I know we hear a lot of criticism of our health care system, and I know it needs more support, but it needs to be said that the people who are in there doing their jobs are doing them well (at least that was my experience). I am also grateful that I could walk away without a bill.